


Capricious God

by RangerHorseTug



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), BAMF Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley is Angry at God (Good Omens), God is angry, God wanted the Apocalypse, M/M, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:14:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25668772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RangerHorseTug/pseuds/RangerHorseTug
Summary: God is angry at Aziraphale and Crowley- She wanted the Apocalypse. So, in front of all of Heaven and Hell, God prosecutes the traitors. But the two have six thousand years of experience, and maybe God needs to learn a few things that She missed while she wasn't looking.Prompt from the kink meme here: https://good-omens-kink.dreamwidth.org/4446.html?thread=3204702#cmt3204702
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	Capricious God

**Author's Note:**

> Again: Prompt here: https://good-omens-kink.dreamwidth.org/4446.html?thread=3204702#cmt3204702

Warning: A whole lot of Doctor Who references because I really think they would fit well with this. This might be a multiple chapter fill, depending on how much my brain spews out. And oops, this came out as a major vent so I thank you for the opportunity to allow me to write this and get my feelings out.  
Hope you like it OP!  
\--

Crowley felt the blinding sear of Holy power as it boiled his skin, the demon barely able to leap and cover Aziraphale before lightening struck him.  
\--  
Crowley and Aziraphale woke up to a bright white nothingness, no discernable floor, walls, or ceiling. As Crowley lifted himself up and hid his freshly smote wings, Aziraphale quickly sliding his arm around his demon's waist to support him as he wobbled. Crowley didn't hesitate to wrap his arm around Aziraphale's back, placing his hand on his far shoulder to help bear his weight. If they made it out of this, Crowley was was not going to hear the end of it.

As it was, their chances were low when they saw who surrounded them. On the left were the forces of Hell, the right the forces of Heaven. Yet the worst was right in between the two. 

It was a terrifying amalgamation of shapes, eyes, and holy fire. Make out of every color yet felt like nothingness. Overall, the being in front of them was ineffable. _The Ineffable Being._

**AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY. YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME GREATLY, GOING AGAINST MY WILL, GOING AGAINST MY PLAN.** Her voice was booming, tearing into their very beings, bringing agony. **I SHOULD HAVE ELIMINATED YOU AFTER YOU TEMPTED EVE, CROWLEY. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN ATTACHED. IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH TO FAIL HEAVEN, YOU HAD TO FAIL HELL TOO. AND AZIRAPHALE, I SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED YOU FOR LYING ABOUT YOUR SWORD. YOU HAVE BOTH FAILED ME AND I CANNOT STAND FOR ANY SUCH REBELLION THAT GOES BEYOND BOTH HEAVEN AND HELL.**

Crowley felt Aziraphale stiffen beside him. He would not let anyone speak down to his angel anymore. He swore it. Tilting his chin up, baring and fanged grin dripping with false confidence, the demon spoke, projecting his voice to the millions watching.

"You think that you’ve broken us? Me with the Fall and Aziraphale with the degradation? You’ll have to try harder than that. You’ve given us the gift of ourselves. You think that you should destroy us over it? You think our imagination, our Free Will makes us lesser? Oh no, it makes us MORE. We contain multitudes, hundreds of lifetimes, millions of overcome hurdles. Free Will makes us both more than we ever thought that we could be. You all wanted us to be scared of it because you, GOD, are scared of everything, scared of those that doubt you. Oh, but we are so much more than you.” God made to move forward but Crowley held up a hand, shocking the Almighty into stopping. "No. You don't get to interrupt, you owe us that much. After all, why would you make such a production out of this otherwise? You could have killed us immediately, wiped us from existence without a thought. _But you wanted a show for your own pleasure._ And we're gonna give you one."

Aziraphale leaned into him, reaching out with his Grace. Crowley reached back, needing the support. He pushed his thoughts his angel's way and felt a wave of confirmation back. They were on the same page with this.

"You are a God whose whims we cannot fight, but we still fight. Humans are worth fighting for, even if we fall from your Grace. They are your best Creations and they deserve a chance." Aziraphale shifted, bracing himself, looking straight at the form of God. It was time to show whose side he was on, scared or not. "You may have made them but you don't understand them, you don't see their magesty. Yes they are horrid at times, to each other. Many do so in your name. But you could never actually understand what both we and the humans have been through, what we know to make us stand against Hell, Heaven, and God Herself." Aziraphale felt a rush of love coming from Crowely and the angel was glad for the support.

**I GUESS YOU ARE AS BRAINLESS AS GABRIEL HAS DESCRIBED AZIRAPHALE. YOU THINK YOURSELF MY BETTER. YOU FORGET YOURSELF AZIRAPHALE. YOU ARE A MERE PRINCIPLAITY, I AM THE ONE WHO CREATED YOU. AS I HAVE CREATED THE FALL AND THE SUFFERING. I CREATED EVERYTHING AND IT IS REMISS OF YOU TO THINK THAT YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THE CREA-**

Crowley then took over, once again interrupting the being that he had once called Mother. "Nope. You don't get to pull that shit. Creating something is difference than actually going through it. Humans have taught me that you learn each and every day, even six thousand years after my Creation. Perhaps you need to learn as well." 

Crowley reached out, believing that this would cover each and every being in this vast expanse of nothingness, especially with Aziraphale's Grace twining around his power to help. Suddenly they were all thrust into Crowley's memories. They felt the stardust that glowed upon his skin, fingers tired from creating the universe. The felt themselves question, felt as they asked questions on why humans were to suffer if they were made in Her image. If they weren't perfect like She was, why would She punish them? Why would she give them Free Will if it she would punish them? Why would She allow Harm to happen if everything was Perfect? If she Created the angels but was allowing them to Fall for disobeying Her, why allow them to go against Her?

And suddenly they felt their wings burning, feather by feather, they felt as the ground opened up under their feet, they felt as God _ripped_ her Love from him, they felt as their eyes were burned from their face, they felt as the stardust burned through them, scarring them with permanent pain. They felt the betrayal, the not knowing why they were Falling like the other angels. They were confused as why Mother would Fall them, when all he did was ask questions. Maybe it was because he had talked to the Morning Star- but that couldn't be right as others tasked with Creating the stars. They didn't fall when the Morning Star talked to them. 

Then they felt as they hit burning sulfur, the small of their back hitting first. They felt as their vessel, spine and pelvis, liquid pain filling the cracks and telling them that it would never heal. They felt as each and every atom was torn apart and was replaced, remade against their will. Other demons reveled in this, reveled that they were free from God's rule. But this was different. They wanted to hold onto their angel status, they held tight to each Blessed atom and mourned as they were torn away, burned, and made Occult. They felt as their True Form was rewritten in sulfur and ash against their will, still holding onto the hope that God would take them back. But as they were drowning, as they dragged themselves up onto the bank made of sharp black glass, as they were forced by the Morning Star to _crawl_ to be beneath the rest everyone else for being the last to Fall, for having not fought with the Fallen, for not wanting to give up God's Grace. They felt as they had no choice, no more autonomous thought. Their thoughts were not their own anymore for their ruler, the King of Hell able to peek into their thoughts and control them at any moment.

They felt flashes as countless demons tore into them every time they visited. They felt as they were ripped into, sliced, skinned, torn, burned, frozen, and branded for each slight and each failure of an assignment. They felt the despair as they prayed to a God that didn't answer. 

They came to, gasping and remembering that they weren't Crowley but themselves. God was spiky, flaring a distressed grey-blue. 

**WHAT DID YOU DO?**

Crowley merely raised an eyebrow and squeezed Aziraphale's shoulder, feeling the angel's sadness, just knowing he was crying. "I showed you my Fall, how I felt and how I was treated. Did you expect that? Did you know how it felt to be betrayed by the one being that you devoted your whole life to? Did you know how it felt to be lesser than your peers, constantly degraded? Did you know how it would be to feel that everything you touch would be corrupted when all you wanted to do was help? Did you know the all encompassing pain that comes with the Fall? The pain that comes with me rejecting that I was Falling, that I was still Ethereal? Did you predict how helpless it would feel to be worthless and unforgivable when all you wanted was to be welcomed back to the only home that you had known?" God was silent. "I thought so. You knew the concept, you never put yourself through the experience."

Aziraphale spoke up again, talking through his drying tears, not letting those around them a moment to be spared from the emotional onslought. He opened his mind, flooding the nothingness with a cacophony of whispers, pleads, and screams, all begging for help. “Can you hear them? Can you hear their thousands of prayers? Have you ignored them all this time?” Aziraphale forced the billions of prayers that he had heard over the years ring out louder in spite of demons and angels alike crying out in dismay and pain, trying to cover their ears to block out the pure despiration for a voice that had never listened. Maybe God ignored the humans but he didn’t, hadn't, and would never do such a thing. He remembered each and every prayer that he had heard. “All these people praying, all these people living in terror of you and your _judgement_. All these people whose ancestors devoted themselves, _sacrificed_ themselves to _you._ Did you hear them? Did you ever think of their lives, their history when you wrote their demise? Did you think of their stories and all that they would do, treating each and every one of them as a singularity instead of an amalgamation when you decided they should die in someone else’s war? Did you count how many would die screaming, confused as to why they were being hurt, torn down just because their world is a convenient battlefield? Because I did. I know each and every human who would die as their home imploded. 7,713,468,152 people would die, innocent of being anything but the flawed creatures that _you_ made them to be.

“You like to think that you are above it all. You Created them but you take no responsibility. Humans would call your actions, your abandonment, your urge to just throw out your toys because they aren’t fun anymore abuse. _Abuse_ \- and it's time for someone to call you out on it. It took me too long to see. And so you aren’t a perfect god. You are _capricious_ and _fickle_ and _demanding_ and _abusive_. You’re just a _parasite_ eaten out with _jealousy_ and _envy_ and the _longing for the lives of others_. You feed on them, on the memory of love and loss and birth and death and joy and sorrow without consequence, without giving back. Crowley and I have walked through countless wars, watched as empires crumpled. We watched as the humans were Created and got their Free Will. And we decided to not stand by as the Apocalypse drew near and destroyed the charges that we have looked after for longer than you have even looked at them. We have watched over them like you should have if you didn’t turn your back. We have been better Gods to them than you ever have.

"You may have Created them, but _we_ raised them, held their hands through their first missteps and allowed them to grow. The humans aren't yours. They haven’t since you wrote their demise. And we will be damned before we see them be destroyed before they can even touch Crowley’s stars and planets.”

“I’ve seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would be gods. I’ve had the whole pantheon. But if I believe in one thing… just one thing… it's those humans. They are the ones with power, they keep Creating even past what you have.” Crowley then pushes out all of his wonder, his amazement, his awe towards his surroundings. Everyone, still whirling from the back and forth the angel and the demon had ping ponged them through, were again subjected to what the traitors forced upon them. 

Beelzebub and Gabriel finally speak when God is silent. "Why are you doing thizzz? Why not juzzzt zzzurrender? Why fight?" The Lord of the Flies growled and buzzed. 

"Why bother? Why have you not learned? The Plan, no matter which one, is ineffable and will always be brought to fruition.

Crowley scoffed, glad to finally be able to speak his mind. "We do what we do because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind!”

"We have been kinder than God's Mercy." Aziraphale said quietly, voice echoing in the chilling silence. It hits harder than one would think for its softness, a hit that shattered an unknown fragility. 

Seconds could be decades as God was totally and uttery still, no longer a whirling mass. Hundreds of years could have passed as God slowly turned grey, darkening further and further. The two traitors shift together, ready to fight for each other until their respective deaths. 

Suddenly God spoke. **I'm- I'm sorry.** The All Powerful was shaking, waves of distress pulsating off of Her. **I never could have fathomed. What it would feel like. To be betrayed with no reason by someone you Loved and looked up to. To be left alone in a universe that was cold and hard. To question your faith when doing so would mean something worse than death. To be rejected and looked down upon because you don't fit in perfectly to unrealistic standards. I Created you all to be different, to change just like my True Form. To think myself perfect yet judge those who take after me, is a farce. I shall try from now on to become better.**

**From now on, none shall bother you, and you shall spend the rest of your eternity not only watching over the humans as you have for the past six thousand years, but you will become Guardians, benevolent Horsepersons that will guide the humans as they expand across the stars. Aziraphale, you shall be Knowledge, collecting and spreading stories and knowledge to all peoples. Crowley, you shall be Creativity, leading those to ask questions, to Create and achieve bigger, greater things. You both shall lead the humans, and perhaps a few curious supernatural beings, further than I have ever bothered.**

**Now, go to your home, knowing that you will be safe, unthreatened by outside forces. You are your own jurisdiction now, no need for new corporations. Find your peace.**

The white enveloped all of them, and when their eyes adjusted, Aziraphale and Crowley were back in their cottage, with matching rings made of stardust, belonging only to each other for the rest of time.

Their own side.


End file.
